i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
