i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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