so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
