I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
