I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
