yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
