I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
