Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
