I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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