Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I deserve this hangover.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
