im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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