I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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