I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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