I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize