Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
