I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
