Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
babies were throwing up all over the place
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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