Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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