Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
