I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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