you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
