she looked like the bat from fern gully.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
