Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Found your dick twin last night
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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