I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
