I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
