yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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