I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
