I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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