Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
