im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
