party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
