Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
