My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
