Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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