weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
