She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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