oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
