After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
