You're my little dorito
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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