just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
