dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm at about main and main street
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
