shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you didnt know i had herpes?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
