Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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