My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
