You're so nebulous sometimes
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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