I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
how drunk are you?
Several
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
