D3 body, D1 cock
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize