Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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