my mouth tastes like poor choices
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
