Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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