Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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