Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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