i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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