My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
