we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
