After last night, I could never be a politician.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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