I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
