Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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